Right now is the time when everybody starts asking me (that don’t come to the CA) What they should be doing to “mix” it up to break up the monotony of their classes so they are ready for that great black summer cocktail dress, or bikini. Yep, I said it, bikini season is right around the corner. Want to look good for June, July, and August? Here are the easy answers. Kind of, it takes about 4 weeks to feel different, 8 weeks to see changes, and 12 weeks to make “them” ask what you are doing.
So here is my:
If this, then do that
Nice to meet you! You look delicious!
Are you really hungry, all the time? STOP trying to eat 1000 calories a day or less. Yes, eating less is a good thing if your trying to shed some weight but are if your now considering having your friends for dinner instead of inviting them over to join you you might have a problem. Hopefully it hasn’t come to that point in time that cannibalism is an option, or that the next time you see a ho-ho or ding-dong your going to own them like the factory just closed (Wait? Didn’t it?) Skinny-fat, is out. Fit is in, eat better calories, and lift. You’ll feel better, be more confident, and hell you can carry your own groceries to the car. (Granted I generally let them do it for me, because it makes me feel special.)
Are there vegetables in these vegetables?
So remember that food pyramid? Take a chainsaw to it. Veggies go on the bottom, you can never have enough of them, they are delicious, they are carbs and did I say you can never have enough of them? Meats are small portions. About the size of the ball of your fist is a good guess-tamate. We tend to over eat our portion sizes proteins here in America. Breads and pastas are not the devil, but when you wrap them fatty goodness they just became the devil. Make your fatty carbs a big fat 0 and your golden (mostly because you just cut 600 calories a day out of your diet). Six-pack abs here we come.
Cardio, Cardio, Cardio
If you started-in full force with your NYE resolution, and you have now taken “ownership” of a spin bike at your gym’s evening class, or treadmill #5 is yours for 15-50 miles a week between the hours of 5am to 7am. Way to get after it like a champ! Change isn’t easy but you might throat punch somebody that is on your kit during “your” hours. (Keep reading if you want more from your training!)
I’m sorry am I sweating on you?
This conversation starts with. “I’m sorry that you had to be jogging on the treadmill next to me while I do my 12 x 200 meter sprints at a 5% incline. It’s not that I am better than you, it’s that I don’t like this machine, and the sooner I can get off of it the better. Also is there anything interesting in that Cosmo your reading? It’s hard to read when I’m running this fast, and my vision gets a little blurry right before my legs feel like they might instantaneously combust. Whoops, back at it!” Sprint you get more for it, no matter if you feel you look like a fool, you’ll be the last one laughing the pool this summer.
Lean, Mean, Machine
Don’t be angry, be better, and up your cardio with a bodyweight high intensity interval training (HIIT) class. These are all the “rage” right now. Interesting fact is that, any boot camp class or sports style interval training is generally HIIT. The fitness industry moves from fad to fad. Just make sure the fundamentals are sound and your going to rock that dress, and better yet rock your body. (Ever heard of LIIT? No? you should read this next.)
Where are the 5# dumbbells?
Want better results from your strength program? Lose the high rep. soup can workout that will “tone” you and pick up some stuff that might make your soul scream a little bit. Unless you have lots of time to do isolated work and your weight lifting is actually a cardio routine in front of the mirrors. Your not doing yourself any favors.
Why won’t the guys at the gym stop staring at me when I do squats?
Simple, you upped your game and decided to actually get something for all that hard work. By lifting heavy in sets of 3 to 5 reps. You are getting more for all that muscle burn, like getting strong, and toned (fit). Also those guys that creep you out. The next time you see them squat anything, ask if they need a spot, because they are likely sitting on the bench press bench while they are freaking you out (mostly because they all skip leg day!). It’s an easy nut check for them and you can strut your spandex all you want as you walk out the door.
Is there any fruit in this strawberry-coconut daiquiri?
This is really what you’re saying, when you have cleaned up so much stuff already. “Can I have some sugar, with my sugar, wrapped in a diuretic, then garnished with some sugar? Ill have 3 of those thanks.” -> no, just NO!
If it’s clear you’re probably in the clear.
Vodka and tequila are probably safe spirits if you’re going to drink. Soda water is a good additive to stay away from a sugary mixer, or one with high salt content. That is if your not just an on the rocks kinda girl. Tequila or vodka on the rocks, will keep your calories in check while not allowing you to unintentionally eat a whole loaf of bread while you are out with your peeps (insert bottle of wine here).
